Crack For Gta V

5 Things Critics Love About ‘GTA V’ (That Actually Suck) | kncnba.me

Every pedestrian you sucker punch or intersection you cartwheel a truck through can set off a chain of ridiculous events, usually ending in death by tank. The citizens of Los Santos exist only to add screaming sounds to your explosions. Their lives are so pointless the only thing they have to discuss during their afterlife is the hilarious ways we killed them. I’m not much of a theologist, but Donkey Kong probably had to build an entire new wing of video game heaven after I found out driving on sidewalks was faster than weaving through traffic.
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Crack For Gta V

Every pedestrian you sucker punch or intersection you cartwheel a truck through can set off a chain of ridiculous events, usually ending in death by tank. The citizens of Los Santos exist only to add screaming sounds to your explosions.

Their lives are so pointless the only thing they have to discuss during their afterlife is the hilarious ways we killed them. I’m not much of a theologist, but Donkey Kong probably had to build an entire new wing of video game heaven after I found out driving on sidewalks was faster than weaving through traffic. I murder so often and stupidly in GTA that even the worst lawyer could convince a jury I was too retarded to execute. On top of all the emergent funny, GTA V includes a massive amount of scripted material.

As you probably know, it’s set in a parody of Los Angeles with every detail dedicated to mocking it. But before LA starts crying, it should know the jokes are as clumsy as a photo caption in Maxim and as incomplete as a photo of tits in Maxim.

Hour after hour, comedic premises are set up, and then no punchlines arrive. It’s like this sentence was the Mayor of Farts, and he walks into his town’s finest jar store.

Missions have you acting as a paparazzo to catch a wholesome actress with a dong up her ass, massacring hallucinations after too much marijuana, and terrorizing immigrants. Most media outlets praise the game for outrageously mocking every aspect of Los Angeles, but it mocks them without any understanding or tact.

Each one follows the same two-step structure: Clearly explain what it’s mocking, then nothing else. It’d be almost sad if it wasn’t so mean-spirited. Satire and parody are more complicated than Scary Movie 11 would have you believe. You need to do more than point at social trends and call a dwarf casting agency.

For instance, the GTA V writers explore fertile comedy ground with the idea of women being dumb whores. Any idiot will tell you that ridicule is a hilarious alternative to leering when you’re dealing with giant-breasted sluts, but GTA attacks with no wit.

And when you mock something without wit, you’re just a cranky bully. Grand Theft Auto V’s writers read the instructions on a rape kit and decided they knew everything they needed to know about women and comedy.

Hating things brings people together more than liking them. It’s why Republicans were able to shut down a government out of spite, yet can’t cure gay out of love.

It’s also why the dickish bullying in GTA V really resonates with people. Because they hate caricatures of awful things, too! Ha ha, I hope they mention how dumb stupid people are next! I’ve read dozens of reviews praising its comedy, so maybe I’m a snob for thinking good jokes require more than a tired premise and a stumbling, predictable execution. Plus, now that I think about it, there are a few gags in the game that totally work.

For example: Continue Reading Below.

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